The last couple of weeks have been interesting regarding JK. First I had the most amazing dream one night which was just of the blue. It was a dream but I so wish it was true though a bit strange. I was with my brother which is strange in itself, I was chasing after her and every so often she would stop and I would get to ask what I have wanted to ask for so long that it has been a part of me: what did I do wrong, why couldn't you give me a chance, what's wrong with me. and than i would get some answer which i don't remember but i seem to have been happy with the answer. yet, i still chase after her asking the same question with my brother tagging along. a dream that i remember is unusual. a dream about her is even more unusual. but to ask the questions that i have always wanted to ask that they weighed so heavily on my soul and to finally get an answer from the one source that could quench them was one of the best feelings.

Than I found that she broadcast on the radio this bit and I found myself somewhat startled and bewildered, much like I always am when I see her. I have to say it was interesting to hear her speak - god, it sounds like my voice which is so scary. Even the way she talked seemed scary - a bit too similar with the words I use, even though our lives have had separate paths. And than I got to learn about her a bit. In some ways, I'm glad nothing happened since she seems somewhat different. Yet her command of the English language is impressive and the way she uses such words like "hoot" just remind me why I thought she was special. Or how it was funny to confirm that I indeed remember her and her Korean name from over 15 years ago and that my Korean as bad it is, is still better than hers which was the total opposite back than. Though she definitely beat me at keeping Korean textbooks - I junked those soon afterwards. But it was so tortorious to listen to it, not because of the mispronunciations in Korean, but because of she had and still does mean so much to me. I just wish I knew what to do for once. About the only thing I'm happy about is that after hearing about her life and her mother, I'm kind of a bit prouder of mine and my mother. I think I made more out of my life than hers plus my mother would never watch Judge Judy or that ilk.